


The Unknown

by potentiality_26



Series: Start Again [4]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Fix-It, Friendship, Missing Scene, Multi, Not Trailer Compliant, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-11-28 04:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11410530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiality_26/pseuds/potentiality_26
Summary: Roxy knew that compared to Harry- to Eggsy and Merlin too, come to that- she had done little to look back on with regret.  True, she had trained a gun on her friend- but, after the final test, that had seemed like the least Kingsman might expect of her.  And now Valentine and his people were dead, and Amelia wasn't, and everything was going well.  And yet...And yet.  As she had told Eggsy before they picked up Harry in Kentucky, Roxy had spent most of her life preparing to be a Kingsman.  Even before she knew the names or any of the specifics, she had wanted this life.  She didn't regret it now, but she did look back on the last 24 hours- and the last four months- with a feeling she couldn't quite put her finger on.After they all return to HQ, Roxy faces the future.





	The Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> There's still a bit of Harry/Eggsy in this one because I wanted to wrap that plot line up a little better, but hopefully they don't steal the show too much. It's possible that I'll add on to this series one day, but for now the main arc is finished so I'm marking it complete!
> 
> Not Brit-picked.

Roxy spent most of the flight home sleeping.  

She wasn't alone in that.  Harry and Eggsy sat close together, just touching, and- though they sometimes talked quietly to each other- for the most part they rested.  She was glad of it- glad not to be alone.  Roxy knew that compared to Harry- to Eggsy and Merlin too, come to that- she had done little to look back on with regret.  True, she had trained a gun on her friend- but, after the final test, that had seemed like the least Kingsman might expect of her.  And now Valentine and his people were dead, and Amelia wasn't, and everything was going well.  And yet...

And yet.  As she had told Eggsy before they picked up Harry in Kentucky, Roxy had spent most of her life preparing to be a Kingsman.  Even before she knew the names or any of the specifics, she had wanted this life.  She didn't regret it now, but she did look back on the last 24 hours- and the last four months- with a feeling she couldn't quite put her finger on.  

At some point during the flight, Merlin set the plane on autopilot and joined them in the cabin. 

She shared a smile with him as he puttered around.  She had respected him from the very start, but the events of the day had changed things.  She had been with him, just being briefed on her duties as Lancelot, when Arthur died- at Eggsy's hand, as it turned out- and everything started falling apart.  It had given her the confidence to go on, that he trusted her and treated her like any other agent immediately.  But now she wondered if this sort of trial by fire was old hat for him, or if he had been just as rattled as she was and even better at hiding it.   

"We'll be home soon," Merlin told them as he headed back toward the flight deck, and Harry nodded, and Eggsy shifted sleepily against him, and Roxy looked out the window over the sea.  Home. 

What would it even be like?  Early reports suggested that the death toll had been reasonably low, but still- nothing quite like this had ever happened before, not ever in the history of the world.  That alone was enough to make Roxy consider what lay ahead with trepidation.  And then there was Amelia, who would be there waiting for them- waiting for _her_.

Roxy had liked Amelia right away- liked how cool and collected she was, how practical, how kind and yet strong.  And yes, she had thought her beautiful- and yes, when they slept that night in the dormitories Roxy had allowed herself a little fantasy in which they became close, in which liking was given room to grow into _more_.  She had scolded herself for that- for letting her focus slide into romance when succeeding at the trials was so much more important.  Perhaps that was why later, during the flood, she didn't let herself look Amelia's way even once.  She wasn't proud of it; she could tell herself that she had been sure of Amelia's skills, sure this woman who had so impressed her would be just as prepared to save herself as Roxy was, but it wouldn't be the whole truth.  She had wanted to prove that she could look away, that she could put the mission first, and she had. 

And now, even knowing Amelia had survived after all, she felt sick about what happened.  Sick enough that she could almost convince herself that how desperate she was to see Amelia again was primarily about guilt.  

Oh, but that wouldn't be the whole truth either.    

It was just as likely that she was simply afraid.  Afraid that if she allowed herself to care even more than she already did her heart might break.  Afraid that balancing this thing between her and Amelia would be too much on top of the work that lay ahead.  Afraid that if she tried she might fail.

Roxy hated nothing so much as failing- except, perhaps, cowardice.  Looking over at Harry and Eggsy, she felt like a coward.  Eggsy hadn’t thought Harry was dead for very long in the larger scheme of things, but there was no denying that it had taken a toll.  And yet, once he had Harry back, there was been no doubting or hesitation, no letting the fear that it might happen again keep them from trying.  Could she really look at them now and do less?

 _No_ , Roxy thought to herself as land came into sight.  No, she couldn't.  She would just have to jump, and see what came of it; compared to being launched into space or flung out of an airplane, how hard could love really be?  

After they landed, Roxy watched Harry and Eggsy leave hand in hand and stayed in her seat.  She knew she needed to get up, stretch her legs, get moving, but she found herself reluctant to leave the jet.  She felt as though she had spent whole lifetimes in there. 

Outside the window, she saw Percival leaned against the far wall.  It was that which got her on her feet.  The hangar- and Percival himself- looked the same as before V-Day happened.  Roxy found that difficult to imagine, somehow- that so much could be the same while she was so different.  While the whole world was so different.   

All the way walking toward him, Roxy weighed how to greet her sponsor- now a fellow knight.  She settled on a handshake and stretched out her hand, but he made an annoyed sound and tugged, pulling her into an embrace instead.  She wrapped her arms around his middle, letting herself enjoy the closeness in a way she wouldn't have for much of her life.  "You did good work, Roxanne," he said, one of his hands coming to rest lightly on the back of her head. 

"You too," she said, not entirely sure why.

Percival snorted.  "All I did was not die."

She drew back from the hug, looking him over.  He was grubbier than she had ever seen him, but that was probably the result of relief work after the fact- he looked perfectly fine otherwise.  "I think that's more than enough, in this case."

While she spoke, Harry, Merlin, and Eggsy approached.  Both Harry and Merlin offered to shake Percival's hand, and in their case he allowed it.  While they talked, Roxy looked over the hangar again.  She processed for the first time that Amelia wasn't there.  Roxy hadn't expected her to literally be there waiting for them, but... she had hoped she would.  She hadn't realized how much until Amelia wasn't there.     

She actually physically rocked back- and that she didn't realize until she felt a hand on the small of her back, steadying her.  She expected the hand to belong to Percival, so she was surprised when she turned to look and saw that it was Harry.  She had hardly exchanged five words with him, and yet... it was nice, to have him ground her.  She noticed that the others had peeled off and were talking a short distance away.   

“I’m sure Amelia would be here if she could,” Harry said.

“How do you know I-” Roxy began.

Harry cast her a knowing smile, and she quieted.  She had known intellectually that Harry and Amelia knew each other, that Amelia was the one who found him, that they must have talked.  It occurred to her for the first time that they might have talked about _her_.  “I understand Merlin has sprung… certain new responsibilities on her," Harry explained.  "No doubt they’re keeping her quite busy.”

“What new responsibilities?”

“I’ll let her tell you that.”

“When?” Roxy wondered aloud, and then she kicked herself inwardly for sounding so stupidly self-pitying. 

“I’m sure we can find her, if we work at it.”

His eyes crinkled kindly.  Under ordinary circumstances, Roxy thought she might not like the idea of seeing Amelia again for the first time with a proverbial third wheel on her arm, but under these circumstances it sounded just about perfect.  “Okay,” she said.

“You two had better not be planning anything devious,” Merlin called over to them.  “Harry needs to be in the medical wing.  Yesterday.”

Eggsy said something to Merlin that Roxy didn't quite catch and came over.  He laid a light hand on Roxy's arm.  "Go find Amelia,” he said, as if he knew exactly why both of them might need to, and together.  “I’ll cover for you.” 

“Thank you,” Roxy said.

Eggsy squeezed her arm, and then Harry's, holding his eyes in a way that was both heavy and sweet.  When he let go he broke into a jog and caught up with Merlin and Percival, swinging a friendly arm around Merlin's shoulders.  

Harry snorted softly.  “Merlin won’t tolerate _that_ for long,” he said, sounding amused. 

Roxy wasn't sure he would have much of a choice.  Percival knew Eggsy even less than Roxy knew Harry, but it was as though he immediately guessed Eggsy's intentions and helped as best he could, working to monopolize Merlin's attention and sweep him away.  "Let's get moving while we can," she said.

Harry agreed, grinning, and together they slipped out of the hangar. 

The layout of Kingsman HQ was still somewhat strange to Roxy, but Harry seemed to know where he was going, and Roxy had decided to trust him.  She followed along a little way behind him for a while, and eventually Harry said, “Ah,” and pulled open a door. 

He held it for her, and she poked her head inside a bit warily, just in case.  Inside she saw a dozen or so screens arrayed above a desk not unlike the one Merlin had used on the jet, and in the center of it all stood Amelia.  She turned around, and-

It occurred to Roxy that she had never seen Amelia smile before- not a true smile, anyway.  Her lips had quirked politely when she met Roxy, exhibited a friendly curve when she met Eggsy, and twisted in sympathetic annoyance at the way all the boys but Eggsy talked.  But the bright, real smile she wore looking between Roxy and Harry now was another thing entirely.  It made Roxy’s gut turn over in a very pleasant way, and entirely robbed her of her voice. 

As if he could tell- and probably he could- Harry crossed to Amelia first, his hand extended.  He didn’t say a word, just clasped her hand with a look that Roxy suspected could only be fully understood between the two of them. 

“Thank you,” he said gravely.

Amelia’s smile was still broad, but it gentled.  She squeezed his hand.  “Any time.  Harry.” 

He released Amelia, let out a breath, and glanced around, his eye catching on the footage being sent to one of the screens, showing the Kingsman hospital wing.  Roxy recognized a cuff and identified the person behind the footage as Eggsy. 

Amelia glanced the same way and her lips quirked.  “He’s already charming nurses and trying to get released early.”

Harry looked delighted.  “Then I suppose I had better get down there myself, if I want to see him before they let him go.”  Amelia nodded seriously, and Harry smiled at her once more before heading for the door. 

"Harry," Amelia called to him.

He stopped and looked back.  "Yes?"

"Let's get together and talk sometime, all right?  Maybe... have lunch?"

Harry glanced sidelong at Roxy, as if he was worried that she might mistake Amelia's meaning- but it made perfect sense to her, so she just smiled.  Harry smiled too.  "I would like that," he said. 

He gave them both a final nod and left. 

Now that she and Amelia were alone, Roxy still had no idea what to say.  Despite her resolutions on the jet, she wasn't completely finished having doubts.  So she kept the subject where it had been: “Eggsy was talking about going home, last I heard.”

“For his family?” Amelia asked.  She didn't sound as though she knew what they ought to talk about either.

“Yeah.  He… wasn’t sure how well it would go, but he wanted to handle it alone.”

“Well.”  Amelia’s fingers flashed over the keyboard.  “I’ll let him know he has back up if he wants it.  Now more than ever we need to take care of our own."  Amelia smiled to herself as she typed.  She glanced over her shoulder at Roxy, like she was sharing a secret.  "I also told him that if he keeps his glasses on, Harry will be able to see what he was up later."

From Eggsy's feed, Roxy saw him give a gesture of understanding.  She laughed.  "I bet they'll enjoy that."

Eggsy had had even less time to get to know Amelia than Roxy had, but Roxy was sure that they would soon be friends.  It was such a little thing, but it made her so happy. 

Silence fell between them again, and Roxy realized that if she wanted to make this work she would have to finally take the initiative, and soon- and that if she didn’t, she would regret it for the rest of her life.  So, really, she didn’t have a choice.  And Roxy never hesitated when she realized that she didn’t have a choice.  She squared her shoulders and looked Amelia in the eye at last.  "It's good to see you."

Amelia ducked her head a little.  "It's good to see you too."

And Roxy could read written across her face how much she meant it.  And just like that, Roxy stopped doubting altogether.  She said, “How long has it been since you got some rest?  You looked tired.  I mean… you look beautiful, but you look tired.”

A pink flush glowed on Amelia’s cheeks.  “I am a little tired,” she said quietly.  “There’s been so much to do.”

“There should be less now, right?  With Merlin back?”

Amelia nodded.  “I suppose so.  Only-”

“What?”

The faint flush deepened.  “He’s talking about taking the Arthur position on.”

Roxy nodded.  "I heard that."  She had liked the idea.  She hadn’t had the difficulties with the previous Arthur that Eggsy had- he had struck her as a little chauvinistic, but Percival had prepared her for that, and she honestly hadn't expected better- but she would never have trusted him the way she now did Merlin.  There were, in fact, very few people that she would ever trust the way she now did Merlin.  Of the other four, one was in this room.  “Meaning?”

“He’s talking about making _me_ quartermaster.”

Amelia looked apprehensive, for which Roxy could hardly blame her- but Roxy grinned all the same.  “I think you’ll be good at it,” she said.  She knew it was best not to get her hopes too high when things were still so much in flux, but she could just picture it now.  Amelia had promised to stay before, to give them a chance to get closer, but it would be something entirely _more_ if she would be staying on as quartermaster.  They would be working together- and they would work well together, Roxy thought.  And perhaps the things she was imagining were unprofessional, and perhaps that ought to give her pause, but it didn't.  It hadn’t stopped everyone else from pushing her and Amelia together thus far, had it?  “But for now,” she said, “I think Merlin will understand if you need a break.”

Amelia started to protest, but Roxy didn’t listen.  She rested a hand against Amelia's back, the same way Harry had done for her, and gently led her out of that room where she had seen so much.  They were already in the hall by the time Amelia galvanized enough to say, “I should at least tell him I-”

“I’m sure Harry will,” Roxy told her.  She had no doubt that he had anticipated exactly this, and she smiled at the thought.  The more she sat with the idea, the more she thought Eggsy wasn’t actually wrong to suggest that double date.   She was actually even a little bit looking forward to it, though she had no intention of telling Eggsy as much.

But for the time being it was just her and Amelia, and she knew exactly where they should go next.

Once she knew where she was headed, Roxy found her way back to a familiar area of HQ with ease.  She ducked around a corner, and down one hallway, and she found it: the dormitory in which she had spent several months- and Amelia just one night- of her life.  Roxy wasn’t sure if that section was always there, or if Kingsman typically got rid of it when the trials were over- and she was sure that, given the size of HQ, there was a place somewhere that would be much more comfortable, and private, to sleep- but for now this was the best place she knew of, and it felt... cathartic, to bring Amelia there.  It felt like things had come full circle. 

Judging from the look on Amelia’s face- soft and warm but a little sad- she felt that way too. 

She sat down on the edge of one of the beds and surveyed the room for a moment before the patting the space beside her. "Come sit with me," she said quietly.

Roxy did.  And apparently, even though Amelia was right there next to her, some demons were not yet exorcised.  All Roxy could think to say was, “What would've happened?  If I’d saved you?”

Looking thoughtful, Amelia scooted back against the pillow with her legs crooked and her elbows on her knees.  “I would probably have ‘died’ eventually anyway.  I’m sure it would have been good for your record if you had, but Merlin... I can't believe he might be Arthur soon.  I don't even know his real name.”  Amelia shook her head, as if to clear it.  “Anyway, Merlin thought somebody had to die.  You know- to prove that the situation was serious.  You might have escaped his lecture about teamwork if you'd saved me that first night, but I think you would have lost me at some point anyway."  She reached out, open-handed, and after a brief hesitation Roxy did the same, lacing their fingers together.  "Does that make it better?  Or not?”  

“I don’t know," Roxy answered, examining their joined hands.  "Yes, and no, I suppose.  It’s... something, to be sure that it was part of a larger plan.  That I was meant to miss it, in the end.  But it’s still... hard.”  That word didn’t seem like anywhere near enough, suddenly, to articulate what she felt.

Amelia seemed to sense that.  Her face contorted.  “You would have been told that I survived after you become Lancelot.  If things hadn’t… you know.  Gotten so crazy.”  

Roxy nodded.  “And do you think we would've found each other, after?”

“I... I really don’t know.”

“Well.  Maybe _that_ helps,” Roxy said at last.  She would have her share of regrets, but certainly less than many people today- and she would learn to live with those because they _had_ found each other.  Because against what were probably steep odds they were here now. 

Amelia yawned, and after a little hesitation of her own she rested her head on Roxy’s shoulder.  “Good,” she said. 

Roxy turned and kissed the top of her head.  The pleased noise that Amelia made warmed her right to the pit of her stomach.  “Come on,” she said, giving Amelia a tug.  “Lay down properly.”

Amelia made an annoyed sound then, but did as Roxy instructed.  “You too,” she said from back against the bedclothes. 

The bed was narrow, so Roxy had to lay on her side, pressed up close against Amelia.  She was wonderfully warm- wonderfully  _alive-_ and Roxy wasn't sure she would get over that any time soon.  "Okay," she said, letting her face rest right next to Amelia's on the pillow.  "Happy?"

“Very,” Amelia said, closing her eyes.

Roxy certainly was as she lay still and just watched Amelia for a while.  They had work to do, all of them at Kingsman, and a saved if damaged world to rejoin.  But for now all that really mattered was that they had made it.  Her fingers were still wrapped around Amelia’s hand- and this time she would hold on tight.  This time wherever they went next, they would go together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come see me on [tumblr](http://potentiality-26.tumblr.com/).


End file.
